Blog-splotation - The Comeback
I hate having to fill out forms. My handwriting is dreadful, and I often don't have the attention span required to fill out these sorts of things.
I get a letter in the mail the other day from the Telford and Wrekin council. This concerned me because: 1) It appeared very official, and: 2) Had they finally caught the illusive Morti?
It ended up being worse than I had imagined. My dad (62) is kind of a pimp. Handily for being a pimp he had a vasectomy in the 80's. He has since remarried his lovely wife, Louise (30) who would like nothing more than to have a baby.
Unfortunately, having a vasectomy puts somewhat of a dampener on those kind of plans. Morti junior was just never meant to be. And knowing what kind of a bloke my dad is there was no way he was having anything to do with a sperm donor.
Bring in option 3! Fostering!! This is where I come in. Basically the potential foster parents have to get people they know to fill out a form that states that these people are fit to be parents, and in no way shape or form would these people ever harm children!
These questions are hard for me to answer. If I am honest, my dad and step-mom dont stand a chance. To save myself from sounding like a complete wanker and going into a detailed back story that sounds like something from the Hallmark Channel, my dad was never the best. And really? at 62? you want another shot? Pull the other one.
So now, my dad who I speak to roughly twice a year has now contacted me at least 4 times this year. Can you guess the content of the calls? I'll give you a clue. If you can imagine someone attempting to help you re-live what they consider to be the best days of your life so as to have you believe they were the best parent they could be, but yet they have no clue as to what actually occured on those days.
It goes a bit like this:
"Do you remember the time we took you swimming and you did a shit in the pool? We all laughed so much"
Yep, you sure did laugh. Not to mention completely belittle me infront of my teachers and my friends. And why did I shit in the pool again? Because you were running late and wouldnt let me go to the toilet? Great times! I can't wait to see how hard you can Eff up someone elses kid.
Argh, I just got a bit EMO didnt I? Sorry.
It might be better if I wrap this up by saying that I dont want to fill out this form. Yes there are lots of kids that need good homes. I just seriously doubt the abilities of my dad. But, he's still my dad, and me filling out this form negatively also affects his wife. Who I happen to think is a decent person. I just dont know what to do.
I get a letter in the mail the other day from the Telford and Wrekin council. This concerned me because: 1) It appeared very official, and: 2) Had they finally caught the illusive Morti?
It ended up being worse than I had imagined. My dad (62) is kind of a pimp. Handily for being a pimp he had a vasectomy in the 80's. He has since remarried his lovely wife, Louise (30) who would like nothing more than to have a baby.
Unfortunately, having a vasectomy puts somewhat of a dampener on those kind of plans. Morti junior was just never meant to be. And knowing what kind of a bloke my dad is there was no way he was having anything to do with a sperm donor.
Bring in option 3! Fostering!! This is where I come in. Basically the potential foster parents have to get people they know to fill out a form that states that these people are fit to be parents, and in no way shape or form would these people ever harm children!
These questions are hard for me to answer. If I am honest, my dad and step-mom dont stand a chance. To save myself from sounding like a complete wanker and going into a detailed back story that sounds like something from the Hallmark Channel, my dad was never the best. And really? at 62? you want another shot? Pull the other one.
So now, my dad who I speak to roughly twice a year has now contacted me at least 4 times this year. Can you guess the content of the calls? I'll give you a clue. If you can imagine someone attempting to help you re-live what they consider to be the best days of your life so as to have you believe they were the best parent they could be, but yet they have no clue as to what actually occured on those days.
It goes a bit like this:
"Do you remember the time we took you swimming and you did a shit in the pool? We all laughed so much"
Yep, you sure did laugh. Not to mention completely belittle me infront of my teachers and my friends. And why did I shit in the pool again? Because you were running late and wouldnt let me go to the toilet? Great times! I can't wait to see how hard you can Eff up someone elses kid.
Argh, I just got a bit EMO didnt I? Sorry.
It might be better if I wrap this up by saying that I dont want to fill out this form. Yes there are lots of kids that need good homes. I just seriously doubt the abilities of my dad. But, he's still my dad, and me filling out this form negatively also affects his wife. Who I happen to think is a decent person. I just dont know what to do.
posted by Steve at 12:47 PM
1 comments
