Tell me why!

I don't like mondays!

I'ts because on mondays I have to fix everyones problems. Not only is it the biggest shipping day of the week, but it's the day when everyone decides to mess me around.

Every single phone call in the day is "Hi, I shipped a package on... and it didnt get there"

and guess who has to deal with it? Muggins.

If this was all that my job entailed, I'd be cool with it, but it's not. I also have to help customers, train new staff members, and generally wipe everybodys collective bottom.

rant rant rant.

saturday night

Saturday night was pretty decent. I got to drink beer and eat pizza as predicted. Some of the UFC fights were a bit of a let down. Mainly the heavy weight fight. But there were a few good knock outs. I felt sorry for Nate Quarry, he was unlucky enough to have had his nose broken, and broken very badly, about a minute into the fight, and then after that, he was done.

Best part of the night though was having someone throw me in a guilotine choke, I accidentally fell elbow first onto their groin, breaking the hold, and their spirit!

Sunday was terrible. I stayed on the setee all day. I know that sounds like a blissfull way to end a weekend, it just felt like a lot of a waste.

UFC!

6pm I will be drinking, eating pizza and watching men compete in basically, bare knuckle fights. (no head butting, eye gouging, biting or groin shots. choking is allowed!)

I think that's a perfect saturday!

the show that Roy Walkers son presented was called "Steal"

I'm a scat man!

I am the youngest person at my job... but with the most responsibility.

I had an idea today to start a blog which is just pictures of poo, in the bowl.

Doctors always ask you, "how have your stools been?"

and now you can say, "I'll show you... on monday it was pellets, but look at thursdays anaconda!"

Saturday is my favourite day of the week because it contains the word Turd.

I have a confession to make...

I really Like Bruce Springsteen.

In fact, I dream about being in a Springsteen tribute band. Can you imagine it? Full band, horn section, fist pumping. I just drooled.

I think my favourite song is "I'm on fire"

I always feel like listening to Bruce is a guilty pleasure because it is so far removed from the music I normally enjoy. No longer will I have shame, from this day forth, its me an Bruce.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the future. Is my future in the bay area? Probably not. I stand so little chance of buying a house here, it's not even funny. Even the lowest priced dirt box is out of my league.

My predicament is that we could move further north, or further south and be able to afford a home, but the weather, the people, and the jobs would suck! Where would be the fun in that?

What makes me really sad is that I have a friend who recently moved to olympia (washington, not greece) and is renting a three bedroom house, with an attached studio for $850 a month. I pay 875 for a one bedroom flat! next to a busy road. The trade off is that I have a job and he doesn't!

But what if I could land a sweet job, and be able to rent or buy an awesome place, and be happy?

I think the likelihood is pretty slender, afterall, that is the new American dream. What chance do I stand to compete in an area as affluent as I am in?

as Gabriel once sang " dreams, can come true"

There I go again! I just went against my own philosophy. Ive always held that it is far more important to be excellent to each other, rather than trying to scratch and climb the corporate ladder! I think Ive been in the bay area too long.

what do you get when you cross a bassett hound with a beagle?

a bagle.

Just watched gregory's girl

Forgot it was a bit on the spicy side! oh the 80's

When the film started, the MGM lion was on the screen, he lets out his trademark roars, and I say to the missus, "do you know how they made him look like he roared on cue?" she of course didn't know, so I said : "they gave him a couple of toffees"

She almost believed me until I started laughing uncontrollably.

I really fancy an ice cream

Yesterday was my day off

And what did I do with it? Nowt, as per usual.

I went to Torres engineering in San Mateo. Dan Torres has been making guitar amps for years, and I was keen to get a look at his shop and ask a few question about amp making, and pedal making, and maybe ask if he would take me under his wing one day a week and show a young grass hopper "how to". As per usual, In the car I figure out what I am going to say, and then once I get there I completely bottle it!

I wouldn't mind so much, but what's the worst he can say; "No we are very busy, but I appreciate you dropping by".

Dark evenings have me really confused. The Sharks game finished last night, and I thought it was bed time, but no, it was only 8! So I had to tit around for about 3 hours. Even if I am tired, I know it's a mistake to have an early night, because an early night means an early morning! and who wants to get up at 6 in the morning to soak in the glory of a new day? Not chuffin' me!

more things I miss

I was thinking today about more things I miss. I was reminded about Oakengates market in a previous post, and it got me thinking about Saturdays. Mostly about the TV on Saturdays.

here is a list of some classic Saturday shows, that would only work on Saturdays.

Wrestling
The Munsters Today
Seaquest DSV
Thunder in Paradise
The racoons
Big Break
Blind Date
Noels house party
Tarrant on TV
Top Banana
Trans world sport (if you're up early enough, mind)

Just now I realised how sad I was to be scrambling for the past. But not just the past, bad tv that i enjoyed of the past! I have a feeling I'm going to be a very grumpy old man.

Here is a conversation I WILL have with a son or daughter

me: "what's this shit on the Telly?"

Kid: "dance dance revolution: the next generation"

me: "is this in a bloody arcade?"

Kid: "yeah its brilliant"

me: "in my day we had catchprase. You wouldn't see Mister Chips making a twat of himself like that"


If anyone remembers this TV show, I would be eternally grateful. Roy walkers son hosted it, and it maybe lasted for 2 series. people played computer games, like directing a cat burglar up ladders robbing people, if my memory serves me correctly. Any ideas?

I got asked if I was south african today

nuff said

Film: Blast from the past

Actors: Sissy spacek, brendan fraser, Christoper walken.

Synopsis: Family think america is going to be turned into a nuclear wasteland by the russians, so build a fall out shelter and stay in it for 30 years. Supplies run low so they send brendan fraser up to the surface, and adventures happen for the next 80 minutes!

Gossip: One day whilst in wardrobe, Fraser and spacek are perousing the footwear and trying to decide what shoes to wear that day. Brendan spots a nice pair of chelsea boots and dives right for them. At this point spacek says, "how rude, those shoes dont belong to you". Fraser says, "what do you mean?" to which spacek replies: "these boots were made for Walken!" (geddit?)

I made that up today whilst at work.

so the rest of the day went pretty much as expected! No job offers from George Lucas, although my boss did give me a Diwali gift! Unexpected but awesome.

I never really chew gum, today I am chewing gum. Three pieces in one day. I'm a gum-aholic.

I pray that my cars windows stay up!

I went to see Elizabeth town on tuesday. Couldn't decided what was wors, Orlando blooms american accent or kirsten dunsts southern accent. Decent film though. couldn't convince the missus to see doom or saw 2.

was a bit annoyed that they elected to show a basketball game instead of the hockey. I missed another exciting over time thriller.

On tuesday morning I got to see the north london derby. Arsenal were shit until the end, then held on for the draw. bit pathetic. In my head I imagined telford were playing kiddeminster and it was 1986 all over again.

I thought the car might be fucked this morning.

I used my automatic window button (yes, the car is that flash), but then the window wouldnt go back up! Then it did, and I let go a little trump of relief.

Who can tell what the rest of the day has in store. Maybe george lucas will wander in and offer me a job working on star wars 7: The wookies wardrobe.

It's a CGI thriller!

The electronics is taking a bit of a back seat to, well, everything. But I have found that I really like root beer.

hallo-weiner

This year i dressed up as a victorian boxer. I had a handle bar moustache, and some dodgy tattoos. One was actually real though unfortunately.

I had the missus draw an elk on me.